Sorry I haven't done this in a long time

Sorry, I haven't written in this for a long time, but things are always hectic here as you all know. Since the last time I was in here, a lot has happened. The biggest being I've been diagnosed with terminal scerosis of the liver. I really look like I'm about 9 months pregnant and feel like it most days. Evidently the whole time we were thinking that the sarcoid was in remission, we were way wrong. The blood tests showed it was, but no one really checked anything else, so here we go again. This isn't my first time down this path, but last time Jess was just going on 4, and now she's going on 10, so I got a lot of extra time in there that I really wasn't supposed to have. However, the medication that gave me that miracle is also one of the ones that helped take it away. Of course, it would have just happened sooner without the chemo drugs, and yet I'm still complaining. Evidently I should have died back in November because my liver enzymes were so high and no one knew. They were doing blood work to check on the meds, but evidently there are a few different panels they can check and the important one wasn't done. So I kept getting sick and sicker, the good news being I lost tons of weight, even though I don't look like it with the stomach swelling and the large doses of steroids I take. Finally, I made them do the biopsy and look how much fun we're having now. The biopsy showed that I not only have tons of sarcoid in my liver, but also a fatty liver, and severe scerosis. Which is only treatable by a new liver. But lucky me isn't a candidate for it from any of the places that do it. I have too many things that will kill the transplanted liver, so they'd rather give them to healthy people, go figure. Anyways, there are some upsides to it, the pain management clinic has given really good drugs to ease the pain. I do fall asleep alot while on the phone or doing things now, but at least I'm able to actually participate in my families lives while I am awake. I even went to the mall for a little bit before going to the movies with my husband and 9 year old. Now that's an accomplishment for me. When my other daughter, Amanda, and her kids were here we went to the mall just to get shoes for the kids, and the pain got so bad that I was doubled over and had to go home right then. Wish I'd had them when they were still here, then I could have had more fun with my grandkids. Oh well, the important thing is that I leave Jessica with a lot of good memories of me, which require me to actually participate in her life instead of just laying in bed like I was. I'm even going to try and do a huge day on Tuesday. I'm chaperoning my daughter's class to the state capital and the museum, when before the meds I would never had thought about trying that. Luckily, they had a drop out and I got to take her place. Jessica is over the moon about it and has said that we have to take lots and lots of pictures. I did inform her that I have a smaller chip now for the camera and we'll just have to see how many pictures it will hold and how many are still on it from my older daughter playing with it. That day is even more taxing because the choir is performing after school and Jess is in every song, and then they're having an at show and Jessica has 2 pictures in the show. Not to mention David has to be at work even earlier than normal. So it's going to be a challenge, but for Jess, I'm willing to give it the old college try. Then, if things aren't hectic enough, I have a huge lesion on my face, right up against my left ear, and in it is MRSA. Whoopy! I'm on antibiotics, but they don't seem to be working because there is a huge core in it that will, according to my dr., will have to be surgically taken out and dried some how. Don't ask me, I don't know what she was talking about, but it doesn't sound like fun. Oh and she also said that she's pretty positive that I have a blood clot in my left leg, poor left side, and it's twice the size of my right ankle and leg, and boy does it all hurt. Good thing I have those great drugs. I was hoping to go swimming with jess this weekend, but can't put my face in the water because of how contagious this thing is. My wonderful husband passed it on to me, yes he is shareful. Anyways, sorry this is so depressing and long. But I haven't written in this for awhile. However, things are looking up in some aspects. One of my best friends from our ward, before it was split, is pregnant and I get to concentrate on her baby, and my friend that did live here and that has always been there for me since before David and I were even married, (just celebrated our 12th), has finally found us on facebook. I have been looking for her every since I was diagnosed because I just need her support. I even sicked our friends on her family to try and find her for me. Then all of a sudden my prayers were answered and she found us! What a miracle. I'm so excited about having her back in my life again, and now I feel really bad because I've not known where she was and she's been going through the hardest thing any parent will ever have to go through, the impending death of her son who is the same age as my daughter. He has brain cancer and I'm hoping that everyone that reads this will pray for him and his family. Well, that's enough I'm sure. So here's to hoping that you are all well and doing great despite the condition our country is in. Talk to ya later, K